i know i bitch and whine a lot, and i know its petty at times. there are so many things i have to be grateful about, like what a great work environment i have. how amazing my grandparents are to me, they drive me to work everyday, pick me up, let me live with them rent free, and pay for the majority of my groceries. they dont have to do that, and its so fucking nice of them that they do. i have a lot of friends who support me and will always be there for me. my mother supports every decision that i make even if she does not agree with them. i have a lot of positivity in my life, the negativity is just much louder at times.
you know you get to a point where you realize you can either live your life trying to please other people and be unhappy or you can live your life for you and piss other people off and dont get me wrong im not saying to take it to the degree where you would intentionally hurt people or upset them but if somebody is trying to control the direction you take your life in and keeping you from doing the things you really want to be doing you need to make the decision whether or not youre going to let their judgments influence you.
i do not think i am a bad person, i do not think i am reckless or irresponsible, and i am going to deal with the consequences of whatever decisions i choose to make for my life but if there is one thing i will not do it is live for other people.
i am living this life for me, and until the day i am responsible for another human being, until i decide to have children or commit to a relationship, i am going to base my life decisions around myself. i wont make decisions that are destructive to others, but im not going to take every piece of advice that people give to me.
if i am wrong in the end and my life ends up shitty, then so be it. it was my choice. my life could turn out really shitty and horrible even if i ended up following every piece of advice that i was given, and id rather be accountable for my mistakes than blame other people for my unhappiness.
i just needed to vent about this, and i know my family is going to read this as they read everything that i post on the internet. this is not meant to be insulting, it is not meant to be abrasive, it is not an attack. i just do not feel like i am allowed to make choices about my own life, i am constantly criticized and thrown under the bus for being irresponsible and reckless and i get shut down every time i try to explain myself. i needed to talk about this somewhere.
I don’t think I should ever have kids bc I was thinking about it… And kids always go to sleepover birthday parties and fuck with ouija boards and honestly? If I’m being honest? I’m fine. I don’t need kids
i dont think my friends understand. when i say my room is messy i dont mean “cute” messy where i have a jacket hanging here and there i mean messy as in fuckin trash island where garbage citizens hold elections over who will become the next trash overlord it’s fuckin gross
I remember like 3 years ago on here somebody named Simone wanted to be my friend but I couldn’t do it bc I want to be the only Simone in my life and I feel kinda bad but on the same token how do people associate with others who have the same name as them like that takes some serious strength I’m too self involved to share my name
This customer complained about me to my manager and told him I wasn’t doing my job and was just standing around chatting with my coworkers instead which was a lie but anyway then she saw me like an hour later hanging up clothes and started chatting with me and I wanted to hit her
predators literally love sex positivity and are the main supporters of it i just cant stress this enough obviously it started out with good intentions but its such an easy thing for evil manipulative people to latch onto and have people think theyre doing things under the guise of sexual freedom
i had such a stressful night at work and it was really relieving to punch out and come home. i cant decide whether i want to go straight to bed or reward myself with watching a show and hanging out on the internet but idk it wouldnt really be a reward since i have school early tomorrow and then work again. so sleep will probably be way more rewarding
I was paging two of my coworkers and I accidentally said registreh instead of register so I said “bleh” bc for some reason if I fuck up my words I always say bleh after to like. Acknowledge I said it wrong. Then I remembered it was on the intercom to the entire store and laughed at myself, then realized me laughing during the announcement made it worse so I just gave up and hung up
im starting to feel so much better and im trying to be really productive to make up for the last 2 weeks where i had to force myself to get out of bed bc i felt so sick and miserable. ive never had a cold that bad before like wtf