somewhere out there, there is a photo of my dad and two of his former business associates dressed up as the powerpuff girls and that is a photo i want to see

my grandpa was dipping his chocolate chip cookies in diet pepsi today


when soulja boy stops making new music is he going to change his name to soulja boy told em

Now whenever Im judging my own art I think, "could this end up on mattressblowoutsale's tumblr?" if not it's trash,.


I literally just reblogged a transparent rotating gif of an ipod

last night i had a dream that i crashed a really fancy formal hollywood party and i kept getting on my stomach and doing an impression of a snake and slithering around and everybody said it was beautiful except brad pitt it really crept him out so i kept following him all around the party and doing it while staring at him


when i was like 12 i used to post a lot of photos on flickr and i posted a photo of my friend and somebody commented and said she was ugly and i wanted to make them feel bad so i said that my friend was dead and that was really disrespectful of them and then i forgot i said that and posted a photo with that same girl a month later and somebody commented “i thought she was dead” and i panicked and deleted all of my photos


my mom was making this angry face but bobbing her head to the music of a commercial and i was like “why are you making that face” and she was like “because i hate this song but i have groove so i have to dance to it, i cannot control my own rhythm”


when i was 14 i sent a really mean message to this guy because i thought he was cheating on my best friend and it was like “i cant believe you would do that to her you piece of shit you dont deserve her” but it turned out he didnt and it was a big confusion and he was like “what are you talking about” and i panicked and said they were song lyrics

My Tumblr Crushes:australiansantafivegumneptunainhi87daysbeforepoopflowrosencrantofficialtylerperry2loxapineawww


I’m at the grocery store with my grandparents and my grandpa has wandered away and now my grandma is going up every isle yelling his name and im hiding behind a cookie display cuz i dont want anyone to know im with the crazy woman screaming dick at the top of her lungs


why are 12-15 year olds so obnoxious they roam in packs and they’re so loud for no reason i can’t wait for one of your moms to pick you up and carpool you all away

Friend : I broke up with him
Me : You did the right thing . he was an asshole
Friend : We are back together
Me : Well done,i am so happy for you , he is such a nice guy.


i went to a new school when i started second grade and i still remember what my parents said to me as they dropped me off on my first day at the new school: “dont do your yoshi impression, it’s weird and you’ll make no friends.”


do you think ghosts can tell if youre gay or not? like im not gay but lets say hypothetically i was watching gay porn, would my grandmas ghost see me? totally not gay just asking hypothetically